The Party Has Been Postponed

Warning: This post may contain more information than you care to know. Read at your own risk.
Last Wednesday we went to our first appointment and didn't hear a heart beat. Kim(the midwife) didn't seem too worried. She said my uterus was tilted back and I probably just needed one more week to be big enough to hear the heart beat.
Sunday night I noticed a very small about of old blood which worried me a little but I assumed it was from the appointment.  The only other thing that had me worried was the increased amount in cramping I had over the weekend.  It wasn't terrible, just more noticeable than before. 
Monday morning, with much debate, I decided to call the office to talk to Kim's nurse and have her tell me everything was normal.  She called back and told me she scheduled an ultrasound appointment for me that afternoon at 3, and to come with a full bladder.  At this point I was excited that I got an early ultrasound, a little nervous that they thought something was wrong but quickly reassured myself that they are just doing this to make sure everything is ok which it will be. 
We finally get into the room and they tell me my bladder isn't full enough. I chugged 36 oz of water and waited 30min. My bladder felt like it was going to explode!  The ultrasound tech started looking at everything but seemed to be having trouble. She told me that my uterus was tilted back and that's why she was having trouble seeing anything. She said we would have to do a vaginal ultrasound.  She let me pee (thank goodness!) and proceeded with the vaginal ultrasound.  She told me it wouldn't hurt, it would just be some pressure. She obviously had never had one because that thing pinched like crazy.  I was unable to see the screen and was trying to lay as still as possible so she could get all the pictures she needed.  And then the words that I never thought I would hear came out of her mouth "well, I couldn't find a heart beat..."  My heart sank but I was still holding on to a glimmer of hope.  Maybe she is new and she doesn't know what she's doing, maybe the machine was broken, anything. She sent us to the Dr.'s office to see Dr. Goularte (the only person left in the office by this time of day).  We waited forever, ok maybe only 10 minutes but still. We finally got called back and the nurse was asking me all kinds of questions.  Dr. Goularte walked in and immediately said "I am so sorry!"  At that point I knew she had looked at the ultrasound pictures and the report from the radiologist and there was no way the tech had made a mistake. Dr. Goularte told us that the baby was only measuring at 7 weeks instead of 10 and you should hear a heart beat by 6 weeks.  She gave us the option to do some blood work to confirm but she was pretty certain what the outcome would be.  Although I wanted to do as much confirmation as possible I knew that the numbers weren't adding up and I would just be let down again when I saw the results from the blood work. 
She gave us three options: let the baby pass on its own, use a medication called cytotec to induce the process, or do a D&C and surgically remove it.  I was ready to get this over with and move on so I decided to go with the cytotec.  So if the day didn't suck bad enough, since my blood type is O negative I had to get a rhogam shot! IN MY BUTT (sorry mom)! 
Chris was very supportive and sensitive and did whatever I asked him to do, and even some things I didn't ask him to do.  He did a great job taking care of me. 
One thing I learned from this experience is I am definitely going for the epidural!  The cytotec caused some pretty intense "cramping".  I think they were more like contractions but what do I know. Tuesday I spent most of the day drugged up on the couch. Thank you Lortab!
Thank you to everyone that has been there for us and is praying for us. We really appreciate it!  We will let you know when the party is back on!

First Appointment

Well, today was our first appointment and sadly we didn't get to hear the heart beat.  We decided to try again next week.  If we don't hear the heart beat at that time we will get an ultrasound done.  Kim (the Midwife) said she was pretty sure there was only one in there.  Hopefully we will have better luck next week!  Sorry Dad, you have to keep the secret a little longer!

8 Weeks

If you can't tell, that is a white undershirt!

This last week our immediate family received the news that they are going to be grandparents, aunts, uncles and great grandparents.  They were all excited in their own way. JanMarie thought it was a thank you note from Titus (she watched him while we were on vacation) haha. She figured it out pretty quickly and started screaming. Chris and I thought we were being sneaky sending out the invitations and taking our parents to dinner but they all said they had a feeling something was going on.  Oh well, we tried.

 

From the bump.com:

Baby's now the size of a raspberry!
Baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs, and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy. 

  

A little something I stole (thanks Ashley!)

How far along: 8 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: trying no to keep track. Probably the same

Maternity clothes?: No, but sometimes I can't button my pants when I leave work in the morning.

Strech marks?: nope

Sleep: Often! I'm exhausted all the time!

Best moment this week: Telling our family!

Movement: nope

Food cravings: Carbs (PBJ, cereal, pancakes, etc), anything that doesn't make me nauseous

Gender: I have no idea, just hoping there is only one

What I miss: having energy and unlimited coffee

Milestones: none yet

 

Our first appointment is in a week and a half.  I am so excited and hoping we get a quick ultrasound just to see the heartbeat and make sure there is only one in there!